Struggles are back

Over the holidays eating healthy is even more challenging than other times of the year. All the cookies, pies, stuffing, buttery potatoes and it goes on and on. Over the last 2 weeks my level of exhaustion has been at an all time high. Work is the main component contributing to the exhaustion. The call volume is non stop each day for 10 hours straight. We had been told that this time of the year calls slowed down and things would get better. Not sure when that is going to happen because each day is the same with a ton of calls. That on top of financial concerns that continue to linger for us and not getting much time with my family due to our work schedules things have not been good. I devoured 3/4 of a piece of pizza last weekend in the middle of a "discussion" with Jason and he said "You re eating pizza?" My response " I know" and another big bite goes into my mouth. 3 weeks ago I felt that my eating was starting to slip as I was feeling the stress and the exhaustion continuing to rise. As the exhaustion rose my ability to fight of the urges to eat awful got less and less. I literally didn't have the energy to fight the battle in my mind. I am continuing to battle this even today. I gained 1.8pds last Wednesday and surprisingly this week I stayed the same. Each day I wake up and I say today I am going to do it no sweets and healthy choices. I get through the entire day and do great and then at night my last meal I don't stick to what I should be eating. This is completely back to my old patterns of emotions and eating. I have been praying and will continue to that God will give me strength to get through this time. I feel like I have gained at least 10 pds. My clothes aren't fitting the same and I can see that my body is changing again. I haven't gone running since my last 2.5 mile run last week. I am hoping to pick things up again and am hoping financially I can afford to get new running shoes, a sports bra since mine is now way too big :-), and afford the entry fee for the Dallas half marathon at the end of March. I had a plan to get all these things in December but the bills had to be paid first. I am going to continue to battle through this and rely on God and not myself since that is for sure not working.

Off to work some OT :-) Merry Christmas all my readers!

MADE MY GOAL!!

Yesterday's weigh in I was extremely worried about. I felt like I had gained and I did enjoy my Thanksgiving meal :-) To my shock I lost everything that I had gained the week prior plus another 1.4 pds! Which means that I have officially made my goal weight that I set and honestly never thought I would get to 5 months ago. Last week I was able to get in 3 days of an amazing and brutal workout. Jason and I both did the Insanity workout! It was truly insane. The name is no joke. Getting back on track since eating that delicious Thanksgiving meal has been difficult. I am working to tighten things down again and be disciplined the way that I need to be in order to stay healthy. I am now working toward another 19.5 pds and I will then be at the weight that I want to maintain at. I am hoping in the next 6 months that I will reach that goal. Maybe sooner :-)

My stress level today has gone up due to some more financial stresses. I found myself again turning to food but caught myself and decided to went for a run instead. I found myself able to run at a much faster pace then I ever have before. What an awesome feeling! The journey continues and I am still ready for the challenge to get healthy and stay that way.

Not what I was expecting

For the last 2 days I have been doing the Insanity workout. It is just as bad as the name says!! It is much harder than P90X and I've been loving the intensity of it. I had thought that this shock from nothing to 90 would have gotten that last .8lbs off. Not the case :-( I actually gained 2.2. There are several factors that I think are leading to this.
- I'm building muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat
- I'm not eating my big meal of the day until 10pm the last 2 days because of our schedule and the class starting at 8pm
-That time of the month is coming any day. There is always gain at this point
With all those variables in place I am still not feeling very good about the scale today. I can feel a difference in my body though and the way that my clothes are fitting. Next week I am hoping that the change in exercise will make a difference. No way that it can't!!
With Thanksgiving right around the corner I am going to enjoy the food in moderation and I am actually going to have a piece of pie! That's my sweet treat after not having any in a really long time :-) Until next week where I am hoping to be able to blogging with a nice loss.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Struggling

Today has been one of the hardest days that I have had in months. Financial stress has hit hard today and I am fighting to not just eat and eat. I went to Bill Miller's this morning to meet a Scentsy customer. I thought as I was going out the door that I am right at the time that I need to eat so I'll just grab a taco. First this is not the best choice when I have much better things to be eating at home. I had plenty that I could've grabbed and eaten on the way. So I get to Bill Millers and I order not 1 but 2 potato egg and cheese tacos. At this point the internal battle is on full force. "Don't eat both." "Oh its not a big deal its just one meal eat them both." I ate the first one and then texted Jason who reminded me that I needed to pray. I asked God for peace with the financial issues and to help me fight threw. It for sure helped but that doesn't mean that the struggle went away. It has been a rough day and I am ready for a new one. I will get through it though as I always do. The goal is to have there be as little damage as possible when its all said and done. I am reminded that this journey never ends and some days are just going to be harder than others.

Holding Steady

This week I maintained and stayed exactly the same as last week! That pesky .8lbs will come off eventually. I was very happy with maintaining this week. We went to a wedding over the weekend and I enjoyed some pasta and then last night I had some brisket and thanksgiving meal goodies. Don't think that I indulged by any means. At the wedding I did have larger than normal portions but last night I took very small portions and enjoyed every bite. I am truly feeling the increased temptation to eat all the yummy holiday foods. In moderation is how I am going to get through this time of year. I am also getting together a schedule for workouts. The plan so far is to cram 4 classes into 3 days. I am going to optomize the time that I do have and get as much in as possible. Getting a run in once or twice on the days that I am working will also be something that I am hoping to obtain. Adding in all the workouts will nto only tone my body but is also going to get the weight loss moving again.

We went back to College Station this past weekend and I saw everyone that I hadn't seen since starting on Take Shape For life. Many of them didn't even recognize me!! I have lost 40 lbs since they saw me last. I know thats a lot in my mind but its so hard to just wrap my brain around how much that really is. It really is a lot of weight. If I had gained 40 I would for sure be able to wrap my brain around that! I am still contemplating doing the 1/2 marathon in Dallas in March. I am about 85% sure that I am going too. The wife of my chiropractor is getting a team together for Beach to Bay and she asked me to join. I felt so honored that she would even consider me. Being overwieght I never got asked to do much on the fitness spectrum of events. I may just become a runner yet :-) I am working on loading my ipod with music today so I am on my way.

A little bit at a time

This week marked another loss of .6lbs. I was hoping to have lost the remaining needed to get to my original weight loss goal. Now I am looking for next week to have lost the remaining .8lbs! I have decided that I am going for another 20lbs. That will then be the final number for me to maintain at. I am still not getting in the exercise that I really need to be doing. At this point I have such limited time which I know is a stupid excuse. I am still losing without the exercise right now but once I hit the final goal I have to put in the exercise to be able to maintain. I simply feel no direction in the way of exercise. I was running but that gets very boring if not mixed in with something else. It is still exercise though and I have to get over that exercise has to be this intense brutal thing and that I can do small things that can make a huge difference too. Doing some squats and lunges and jumping jacks each morning would be a great place for me to start! So that's what I am going to do. Decided right here and right now :-)

CAAAARRRAAAZZYY!!!

Stepped on the scale this morning and my mind was blown! I lost another 2.8 pds!! I am now 1.4 pds away from my original goal. Its crazy! I had felt last week that I was going to have a big loss and it was .6 and then this week I felt like I hadn't lost anything and whamoo I lost 2.8. I am still in shock that over the last 4 years I have lost 110 pounds. That is almost another person and that is just so almost impossible to wrap my mind around. At this point in my journey I am back to eating all the food groups. I have a few of my prepared medifast meals left and have been eating them here and there when I am not feeling like thinking through my choices! I continue to realize that I have to prepare ahead and really think through my day to prepare for my meals. In the last week I am trying to think more out of the box and look for some other 100 calorie meals. Getting in the habit of eating the same things over and over is ok for me but at some point I have to add some new things. The other struggle I had this week was for sweets and breads. I had a 1/4 of a pop tart that was left on the counter. I truly have no idea why I ate it there was no reason to and it was complete impulse. I did fess up to Jason that I did it and that helped keep me accountable. All of Gabe's candy in the house is a huge temptation. Its just such a small piece of candy what harm can that do. A LOT OF HARM!! I took a bucket of it to work yesterday for others to eat. Gabe doesn't eat it either but I don't want to waste it and throw it away. I'll continue to share the sweets with others :-) As you can see my struggles and temptations don't ever stop it's how I work my way through each of them that is the most important.
I had an amazing conversation this past week with a friend of mine. She shared with me her struggle with anorexia for many years when she was younger. She made an awesome comment that her and I struggle with the same issues with food its just on 2 different ends. She has to make sure that she does eat and I have to make sure I don't eat to much. It is the same conscious and difficult daily struggle each day for both of us. It all revolves around emotions and we have both had to take out the connection of eating and emotions. I had never thought of it that way but she is so right. She is the first person that I feel really truly understands the struggle that I experience daily or even hourly or by the minute on some days. I now know that she will be keeping me accountable and me her.

A little bit at a time

Lost another .6 this week which means I am 4.2lbs from my goal. I am very encouraged that I am still losing. I had really thought that this week was going to be a 2lb or possibly more loss of a week. I feel smaller and thought that the scale would reflect that although it didn't, I didn't get any exercise in this past week and I know that still needs to change. I'm looking at getting in a run over the weekend and then to keep looking for ways to get my workouts in. No major challenges this past week. Looking forward to getting to the goal even though I can see those last 5lbs may come off much slower than I had anticipated!! As long as its coming off though I am good with that. I am finally going to be able to post a pic this week. Until next week!!

Back on track!

I have completely lost track of what week I am on! Regardless this past week I lost 2.2 pounds! That means I lost what I gained while in Wisconsin for the funeral and some more. I was really hoping that would be what happened this week. I now know that flying very well could have that affect on me so I will know for the next time. I took a huge bag of clothes to Goodwill today because they were all too big for me. What an awesome feeling. For some reason I haven't gotten rid of everything that I know that is too big for me. Not sure why I ma keeping them since they are going to stay too big for me. I do think that if I needed some extra nice clothes in a pinch that I could always some how make them work. I can't afford to much more for clothes at this point. I have to go today and get some new bras as mine are now way too big! Another great feeling a no surgery boob reduction. I went to a turbo kick class on Monday evening and enjoyed the movement and workout. It wasn't as intense as I feel that I need to justify the time away from my family late in the evening and the cost. I have learned since training with Hector that my level of intensity that I look for in a workout is really high. I want to leave the workout dripping with sweat and just wiped. I didn't feel that leaving turbo kick. Again good workout just not at the level that I need. I look forward to another week on this amazing journey. Only 4.8 lbs to go to my original weight loss goal when I started the Take Shape for Life program. Still looking to lose another 25 after I reach that goal. Going to get to the first goal and then decide if I am ready to continue for another 25!! I still look in the mirror and can't believe it is me that I am looking at. Off to Victoria's secret to get bras because now I can actually buy bras there!!!!! :-)

Rough Week

This week marks the first week that I have gained. I gained 1.4 for the week and I was concerned that this may happen. I took an unexpected trip to Wisconsin for my grandma's funeral for 5 days this past week. I feel as though I made good choices while I was there and I didn't over indulge by any means. The issue was that it was so much less controlled. I had relatives wanting to take me to lunch and dinner. One is not an issue that's where I use my lean and green for the day. But then there would be another out to eat meal for dinner. I would make the best choice that I could. Such as salad, veges, etc. Everything that I ate were wise choices but there was too much in and not enough out. I thought on several of the brisk mornings that I was there that I should've gone for a walk but it just didn't happen. I was up early in the morning to go and do things and I didn't sleep that well while I was there. I know that flying also causes you to retain water so that could also be part of the gain. I feel disappointed in myself that I was not successful with this challenge. I am more frustrated with that then I am about the actual gain. I know that in the next week or so that weight plus some will come back off. I want to know that know matter what situation life brings me that I am able to handle the eating piece of it and not gain. With this past week I don't know that and that makes me uneasy. I ahve learned from it though so I will be more prepared for the next time. I am on to the next week and excited to see what it will bring.

Not sure how this keeps happening!

I have lost another 2.8pds for the week! In 14 weeks that is 33.4lbs. I am fitting into size 8 pants of some brands and very close in others. I am still in shock that I am continuing to lose. Yesterday I started getting a bit anxious about today's weigh in. I added in bread on Saturday and I had no idea how that was going to affect me. Then in the same thought I was like HELLO! you have lost over a 100pds! Even if its a half of a pound you have lost a ton! That was a real eye opener for me. To really see where I have come from and not always be so focused on where I want to be. That can trip you up if it doesn't go exactly as you have planned. I have gone for a mile and half or so run once a week for the last two weeks. My schedule at work has changed so I now have off Wed Thursday and Sundays so Wednesday and Thursday I am going to be getting in some kind of exercise. Seize the little bit of time I have and just do it. The other days I am working 10 hour days so getting in a workout is just not feasible. My transition of adding back in bread although I was worried I have done very wisely. I only eat one serving of bread per day. I got some fresh whole wheat sourdough bread from a local bakery and it is delicious. I also got some whole wheat English muffins. I will have for breakfast a poached egg on either a half of an English muffin or a slice of the bread. I always eat the bread for breakfast so that my body has the entire day to run off it. Instead of having it at dinner time where I am not using the calories like I do moving throughout the day. On a couple mornings I have also had muesli which is good but I am going to try and find a homemade recipe and make it myself and see if I can make it any healthier less sugar mainly. I am also making sure that I have a serving of dairy, milk with my cereal piece of string cheese are the main things that I use. Then of course the serving of fruit. That is almost everyday my frozen blackberries yummmmmyyy!! I have cut back a lot on the yogurt just because of the sugar. I tried the greek yogurt and mixing the berries with it and it wasn't to bad but not my snack of choice. Another way I get in my dairy and fruit is making a smoothy with ice milk and fruit. Easy way to get it all in. I am learning that planning is key! My next feat is going to be coming up with enough snacks that I feel comfortable with and keeping within my balance once I don't have any more medimeals left. That is the next hurdle. So far all hurdle have been cleared with little issues so I need to have confidence in myself that this one will be no different.
One last thing the other day Jason asked me so what are you going to do with the holidays coming up. Are you going to give yourself one day just to cheat? I told him no there are no cheating days. If your cheating then you are not making the lifestyle change. You are still hanging on to your past eating habits. As I was listing off the options that I could have for Thanksgiving I was surprised at what I could have. Whole wheat roll, turkey,sweet potatoes without the marshmallows :-) green beans cauliflower yummmy!, a maybe a tiny slice of pie as my on rare occasions sweet item. I shocked myself at all the options I had. I will most likely be cooking the meal for Thanksgiving so I can make sure for me that I have things that will make me feel good for the day too!!
Another week down and only 5.5 pds to go to my original goal. Once I get there I will reasses going for another 20 pounds. That 20 pounds would put me at my ultimate weight that I want to live my life at. Something that I truly was never even going to be possible!! www.careforyourtemple.com Check out the site seriously if you want to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle. I swear that it works obviously!! I could be a walking billboard :-)

End of week 13 Results

Another loss this week! 1.8 pounds down and I am now over 30 pds total loss since starting Take Shape for Life and over 100 pds lost in the last 4 years!!! I didn't realize until I was typing that that I had hit so many milestones with this weeks weigh in. WOW!! I also bought a size 8 pair of jeans this week. I am still trying to wrap my head around that. As I have been losing the last several months I kept thinking getting into a size 8 would be awesome but I will probably be in a 10 one I hit my goal weight. Well I was sure wrong with that. I am now 9 pounds away from my original goal 13 weeks ago. I have still not added grains back into my eating although it looks like I will this weekend. I have found that I have to have a plan going into each transition or I just get too overwhelemed. I am going to talk with Layne more to get clarification on how to go ahead with the next step and go down to only three medifast meals a day. I am running short of food and I don't want to feel pressured to make the entire switch because I have run out of food. I want to have control over the change! I went for a mile run on Sunday. I was shocked at how awesome I felt doing it. There were a couple of substantial hills that I had to climb but I could breath!!! I really felt like a real runner and not someone out there struggling to be a runner. This is the first time since doing my half marathon 2 years ago that I thought I may want to run another one :-) Yes Katie Murr you heard me say it!! I am so proud of how far I have come and so excited about what is in front of me. Scared but excited. I will post a picture this evening. Jason was working this morning and Gabe was in no mood to take pictures of his mommy! Hope everyone has a great and healthful week....

End of Week 12 results

Back on track this week 1.6pds lost! I have no idea what happened last week. I had added in yogurt daily and this past week I only had it twice. No idea if that is what made the difference but I did make the change. This past week has been a real struggle for me. On Saturday I had 2 bites of a piece of garlic bread. This is the first time in 12 weeks that I have eaten off plan at all. I was convinced that I was going to have gained 2 pds! Had I not had the strength to walk out of the kitchen I could've eaten a lot more. I went to my bedroom and prayed. I have come so far and the last thing I want to do is go back. It also showed me how far I still need to go mentally with my relationship with food. I have been anxious about a schedule change at work that is creating an environment of being away from Gabe and Jason more and our day care isn't open the hours that we need for Gabe. Yesterday I stayed home from work and rested!! I was able to get some much needed quiet time with God and also got a solution to having someone watch Gabe for us. I am hoping mid November that I can bid for a new schedule and be able to be home more at the times that Jason is. Or I'll find a new job!! That would be awesome! I have been wearing a pedometer for the last week. I am doing around 6000 steps per day and I should be doing 10000. So that is my goal to work towards :-) On to a new week.....

End of Week 11 Results

This week I stayed exactly the same as last week. I am a bit confused as to why I stayed the same. I did add in dairy this last week and it took the place of one of my medifast meals. I have been tracking my intake on www.tsflsupportmotion.com and I am still at a 1000-1100 calorie deficit each day. So I was expecting to lose another 1.5-2.0 pounds this week based on the deficit. It's a bit confusing to say the least. I am able to add back in grains today but I had decided earlier in the week not to do that yet. I want to continue losing and feel like adding in the grains will slow that down. After this weeks results I am glad that I made that decision to wait. I am continuing to work through Dr. A's book and am getting into the area that talks about his exercise program. I have not had good luck with working out while on tsfl. My new plan is to start slow as he suggests with his program and then work back up. I am hoping this will make it so I have more energy after a workout and not less. In the next few weeks I plan on getting on that part of the program!
I have started looking at a reward for meeting my final goal. The reward would be to get plastic surgery to get rid of the extra skin that I have from all the weight I have lost over the last 4 years. It is something that I will have to save up for and something that I am going to do a lot of research into. It's exciting to think of getting it done but super scary that I pick the right person. I am still 11 pounds away from my original goal and I have toyed with losing another 15 after that. First things first though is to get those 11 pounds off :-)
My sister did sign up and is getting her food sometime this week!! I am so proud of her for making such a huge decision to change into a healthy lifestyle :-) I have encouraged her to blog the experience so I hope that she will. It has helped me a lot to go back and see how far I have come. And I have come a long way :-)

End of week 10

I have lost another 1.4 pounds total of 27.2 lbs in the last 10 weeks! I am now 11.8 pds away from my goal. This last weekend brought another challenge. We went on a vacation to Dallas for 4 days for some football and time with my Allie and Jerry. We had a blast even though the Beavs didn't win. I've never gone on vacation and not just let myself go to eat whatever I wanted. It felt a little strange but I sure felt better about myself once I got home. My sister is going to start the TSFL and Medifast program soon! I am so excited for her and for her to experience the changes that this program brings. I know that she can do it even though she is super nervous. I remember that feeling all to well 10 weeks ago. I never thought in the beginning that I would ever be able to make it this far. Today I transition back in dairy. I was really concerned that when I started to transition that my weight loss would drop off or stop all together. I am really happy that is not the case. I have continued to read Dr. A's book and it is soooo essential for me in being successful after I stop eating the medifast food. Over the week I am going to work on a menu for myself so this weekend I can go shopping and prepare all my food for next week ahead of time. Again I think being prepared is soooo important. I still feel as though this new way of eating really is going to work for me. I no longer feel overwhelmed by the information or how am I ever going to be able to do this in my life. I have experienced several different situations and life events and I have adjusted and stuck to the plan over those times. That's exciting!!! Now I get to encourage my sister and watch her transform and I am sooo excited about that too :-)

End of Week 9

I have lost another 2.6 pounds this week and am thrilled as this is exactly what I need to be losing to reach my goal in the next few weeks!! Total I have lost 25.8 in 9 weeks! I have 13 pounds to go to my goal and if I continue with my current loss I am right on track to get there. I started my transition off of Medifast last week. I added in another serving of veges last week and today I get to add in a serving of fruit! I can seriously say I have never been so excited to eat fruit. It has been 9 weeks since I have had any so I am ready. I am nervous and scared about the transition and being able to continue the loss to my goal and then maintain the loss. I have learned a lot so I know that I can do it. I have been reading Dr. A's Healthy Habits and that is making the transition easier. It is giving me a roadmap of where I need to be and what I need to do to continue on this healthy lifestyle. Without this book I would be pretty lost at this point. Thank you Layne(www.careforyourtemple.com) for making sure that we knew how important this book is. This weekend is the big beaver game and I am ready to concur the challenge of not really knowing what Saturday will look like. Flexibility will be the key and planning ahead to ensure that I have enough food to eat when I need too. I am super excited for the challenge!! Til next week.....

Results End of Week 8

So at the end of 8 weeks on this journey I have lost another 2.8 pounds!! Total 23.2!! I am now 16 pounds away from the original goal that I had set 8 weeks ago. I have to admit that when I set that goal with my health coach Layne ( www.careforyourtemple.com ) I really didn't think I would even get this close. I was hoping but I just couldn't have imagined myself actually getting there. I have known Layne a long time though and I knew that she would not lead me down a path where I wouldn't reach my goal. The challenge that is coming my way is over the Labor day weekend we are heading on a 5 hour raod trip to Dallas for a Beaver game. I am super excited because I get to see my sister and brother n law and I get to see the Beavers play!!! The challenge is ensuring that I have all the food that I need and I am prepared so that I stay on track. At this point there is no option but to stay on track. I am excited to start transitioning in the next few weeks and do this without the Medifast food. It's scary without a doubt but I know I can do it. Jason had an awesome idea of making a list of things that I could eat that would be equivalent to what I am eating on Medifast. I am going to begin searching and see if anyone else has already done this and then set up my own list so that it will make the transition even easier. I've learned that planning ahead makes all the difference in the world.

Results end of Week 7

So the results for this week are.......1.2 loss!!!! That puts me at 20.4 total in the last 7 weeks. I have consistently been working out for the last 3 days. On Monday I felt awful after working out. With the help of Layne my health coach I realized that I had not eaten enough protein prior to my workout so my body didn't have the fuel to do the workout. Yesterday I ate a bar prior to working out and then a shake after and my energy level was better. Today I skipped the bar and ate a shake right after my workout so far so good! I have 6 more weeks to go and hope to lose another 17 pounds to reach my goal. See what happens in the next 6 weeks :-)

Week 6 results

This past week my loss was .6 pounds. Not what I was hoping for but regardless it is progress!! I am feeling pretty awesome and thats as important as the number on the scale. Total I have lost 19.2 pounds in 6 weeks and that is something to be proud of. I got to order another 4 weeks of food as well and thats a huge blessing. Another 19 pounds to lose to my goal!! In the next 8 weeks my plan is to reach that goal. Its a big feat but I am going for it!

Tough Day

It has been the worst day yet emotionally for me since starting Medifast. In a previous post I mentioned a door that was opening for me. Today that door was shut. I've been looking for a teaching positoin for a year and a half and I finally got an interview. It wasn't just any interview. It was at a school that I have subbed at for 11 weeks straight and the principal has told me many times how impressed he was with me in the classroom. I knew that this interview could be it considering the past history. In teaching it is all who you know and I finally had that on my side! I interviewed last Thursday and couldn't have felt any better about the interview. I found out today that I did not get the position. This set in motion a ton of different emotions. Frustration, disappointment, hurt, etc etc I have known since getting my teaching certificate that it is exactly what God wanted for me. There were way too many factors in place for it to be anything else. My heart knows that God truly does have a plan and that this position was not part of it. My head is having a bit of a harder time and is needing constant reminders. I left work today and sobbed out of pure frustration. I am suppossed to be in the classroom but it's just not happening. My current job is just that a job not something that I am passionate about. If I am not teaching I have no idea what it is that I am suppossed to be doing. I know that everything is going to turn out much better than I could ever even imagine. I truly do know that. Today is rough after feeling so excited at the possible opportunity that is no longer.
All these emotions have of course made me want some pizza, whataburger, just to feel better. This whole not relying on food thing sucks and makes things really hard. Today was the first time that I really thought that I maybe could go off plan but I know that I couldn't. That is just not who I am but my thought process of going off plan went much further than I am comfortable with. Its another day of working towards this new life and dealing with my emotions and not bypassing them with food.

Week 5 Results

I lost 3.8 pounds this week!! Honestly I am in complete shock. In the past weeks my weight loss has been getting less and less. This week I was just hoping that I had lost and not stayed the same. Lo and behold I get on the scale and what the heck??!!! I am now down 18.6 pounds in 5 weeks. I have officially lost over 100 pounds in the last 4 years. 20-25 pounds left to get to my final goal. On to week 6 and continuing on my new healthy lifestyle :-)

Anxiety=Want to eat

The last few days have proven to me that I still have a long ways to go on this journey. Last Thursday I got some news that has invoked a huge amount of anxiety for me. In a good way!! I have the potential of a door opening for me that I have been praying for for a long time. Unfortunately I won't know the results of all this for maybe 2-3 weeks. I am hoping that it will all come to a conclusion sooner than that but I just don't know. It is truly out of my hands and completely in God's. I have a huge amount of faith and I know that God is going to put me exactly where he wants me. I really hope that this opportunity is where he wants me. I noticed in the last 2 days as I looked back I have been feeling like a bottomless pit since all this started. I have also noticed that I am eating much faster and just shoving my lean and green meal in. I am eating so fast that it's all gone and I don't really remember lifting the fork from plate to mouth. I noticed that this is happening and know that I consciously have to be aware of what is going on and my reactions to it. For the week and possibly the weeks coming up that is going to be mt focus. To feel the feelings and enjoy them, work through them, pray about them, and again not rely on the food.
Giving myself some credit.... In 5 weeks I have not one time gone off the plan. Many times I wanted to but it wasn't worth and I know that I am not ready to fight that big of a battle yet. At some point I will!! I am starting to think about what life is going to be like without Medifast. I have 5 weeks to go and financially at this point I will not be able to go another month which is heartbreaking. I have another 25 to 30lbs to go to my goal and in the next 5 weeks I am hoping to lose another 10bs. So an additional 2 months may just get me to my goal. I am praying that God will provide the financial means for me to continue or give me the strength to do it without the Medifast program and still make it to my goal. I am feeling so amazing about myself! I have no more clothes from the past that I can see if I fit into! I already fit them and some are too big which is AMAZING!! In my first week I never thought that I would make it this far and I AM!! Really am proud of myself :-)

Week 4 Results

At the end of week 4 I finally feel as though I am making progress on an emotional level. There was a tiny baby step this week of feeling as though I had control over the food and it wasn't controling me. It was enough of a step that I want to feel it more. We went out to eat twice in the last week and I was able to find alternatives each time. Don't think that I wasn't still wishing that I could've had some nachos or a cheese quesadilla or that big juicy cheeseburger because they still look yummy. I know well enough at this point that if I ate any of that I would get sick and it really wouldn't be worth it. Yesterday I put on a pair of pants that 5 years ago were the pants that I was always so excited to get into. I put them on thinking awesome I have another pair of jeans to wear! Much to my amazement they were too big. I wore them anyway but realized as the day went on that I should not have worn them because they really were to big. I don't ever have that issue. Usually I put pants on hoping they will stretch throughout the day and then wish I hadn't worn them because they are so darn uncomfortable! Today they were uncomfortable because I knew they were too big. Such a strange feeling and sort of hard to wrap my brain around. I started thinking today how in the world am I going to be able to afford an entire new wardrobe? There aren't going to be those clothes that I really wish I could get into. Again another hard thing to wrap my mind around.

My second order of food that I got I love! I was actually craving the honey mustard pretzel sticks for the last 2 days. The brownies and ice cream are life savers :-)

SOOOOOO the results for week 4 is...... 1.2 pds lost14.7 lost in 4 weeks! I was honestly hoping for more but it is all still progress!!

I have started posting pictures weekly on my weigh in day on my facebook page under my weight loss folder. So watch the transformation happen with me :-)

Week 3 results

I lost another 2 pounds!!! That makes a grand total of 13.6 in 3 weeks! Not to bad at all! I have 2 pounds to go and I will be the smallest I have been since at least college. I am hoping for 3 again next week after my period has come and gone that should be a good goal :-) Also had a brownie last night and pancakes this morning YUMMMYY!!!!

Moving Along

I am continuing to struggle with cravings and just wanting to eat some "normal" food. So many times I have just wanted to have one chip or one chicken nugget or a taste of pizza but I have not done it. I really think that at this point I would probably get really sick if I did eat any of that. If thats not the case I am going to let myself believe it so that it helps fight the cravings! I am a bit worried about this weeks weigh in although I have done nothing off the plan. I am a week away from the time of the month and that of course means bloating and some extra weight. I have not felt as thin as I did several days ago so I am assuming the impending event is messing with me. I know at some point that my body is going to adjust to what I am doing and I am going to need to shock it again to get things moving again. I am hoping either this week or next to start getting in a few days of exercise. We are still working on transitioning schedules. Jason starts work tomorrow which is so exciting! With one vehicle this week we have to get him and I both to work and get each other picked up and home too. Next week Gabe starts pre-k and so that is another stop that has to be made in the mornings and some where in there I have to get in a workout. I do the best when I workout first thing in the morning but I am not willing or motivated to get up at 4:30 to do it! That is setting myself up for defeat. So I am going to do what I can in the next few weeks and then when things settle down a bit I will get it in regularly on a regular schedule.

The other cool thing about this week is that Jason has decided to start eating healthier as well. This has been a huge help for me. We have gone to the store and found foods that are similar nutritionally to my medifast food and so he has started eating 6 meals a day and eats the same lean and green meal as I do! He has after a few days already seen a difference in the way that his clothes feel. His weigh in days are on Saturdays so we will see how he does. Hes only got about 15 pounds to lose so I am sure that it won't take him long :-)

I have ordered another 5 weeks of food and I got some new foods and I can't wait for them to get here. I think some new tastes and textures will help my cravings. I even got the chocolate chip pancakes, brownies, and ice cream!! I am ready for it to get here so that I can try everything out. Financially this will be the last order that I will be getting. The goal from the beginning and still is that I would do this for 10 weeks. It already feels like its been a long time but I'm only in week 3! I am getting that feeling of feeling better about myself and that's pretty awesome. I am only 4 pounds away from a weight that I have not seen probably since college. That is scary and exciting all at the same time :-) Until Wednesday........

Week 2 Results

I lost 3.6 for week 2!!!!! Pretty darn close to the 4 I was shooting
so I'm super excited! At the end of week 3 I'm hoping for another 4
and that will put me at a weight that I haven't been at since college.
So awesome!!! Along with the number on the scale going down the even
better part is I am being forced to deal with my emotional eating.
The key for me is dealing with this so I can keep the weight off once
I transition off medifast.
There have been several people that have asked for info on this
program. Go to www.tsfl.com and check it out. If you have questions
ask and if your interested in taking this journey to be a healthier
person let me know. I have an amazing health coach and I can help get
you started :-).

On 7/13/10, Susan Arredondo <susanarredondo@gmail.com> wrote:
> Tomorrow is weigh in Wednesday!! I am hoping for a 4lb loss and I've
> done very well all week. I've completly stayed on program and it has
> continued to be a challenge. I've discovered that until I get a hold
> on my emotions I can't get off this program. That is the complete key
> in this journey. I've got to stay present and handle the emotions
> instead of grabbing some chocolate chip cookies or a bowl of ice cream
> to deal with the emotions. So that's where I am currently on this
> amazing journey! I will blog my results tomorrow for week 2.
>
> --
> Sent from my mobile device
>

--
Sent from my mobile device

Weigh In tomorrow

Tomorrow is weigh in Wednesday!! I am hoping for a 4lb loss and I've
done very well all week. I've completly stayed on program and it has
continued to be a challenge. I've discovered that until I get a hold
on my emotions I can't get off this program. That is the complete key
in this journey. I've got to stay present and handle the emotions
instead of grabbing some chocolate chip cookies or a bowl of ice cream
to deal with the emotions. So that's where I am currently on this
amazing journey! I will blog my results tomorrow for week 2.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Conquered first out to eat venture

Last night we went to the Gristmill. One of my ultimate favorite places to eat. Although this time we went it was not all about the fantastic onion rings. Jason was offered a job so we went with family and friends to celebrate. It was not easy and boy did I want some onion rings and to snack on Gabe's potato chip french fries like normal. I did not give in!! I had part of a side salad with ranch on the side so that I could control the amount I used and stay on plan. I then ordered a breast of chicken plain and ordered steamed broccoli. Our wonderful waitress let me know that there was a butter sauce on the broccoli so I asked her to take that off. I ate half the chicken breast and half the broccoli. I actually think that I ate probably less than I was allotted but I was trying to be so careful.
As things countinue to get more and more interesting in our lives this week I notice that as soon as something good, stressful, or any other emotion happens my stomach automatically turns hungry. For the last 2 weeks the hunger has been for onion rings :-) Jason goes to do all the paperwork for his new job tomorrow and will start on Monday working 4 10 hour days. We currently have only one car and found out today that the second car is a total loss. So along with finding a place to move we now need to find a car and may end up getting a rental car for several days so that we can both get to work. I am super excited that we are getting to move!! That has been on my prayers for the last year so I am excited big time for that!! Financially we are in a super tight squeeze and getting a new car does not currently fit in the budget nor does child care for Gabe. We have his sisters here to take care of him for 3 more weeks and then we have to get that piece figured out too!! Needless to say the stress and anxiety level that I have is high but there is excitement as well. So with all these emotions that I have to stay present to deal with the urge to eat off plan is high. I will not give in though thats just not in my nature or personality. I am making the choice to deal with the emotions and hand things over to God no matter how hard the process is. We have another evening of going out with friends tomorrow evening and I am hoping that it goes as well as last night did.

Week 1 Results

Wednesday is Weigh in Day!! So the results after 1 week is I lost 8lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was in such shock that I had to get off and on the scale several times to make sure that nothing was wrong with the scale or how I was standing. I could feel my clothes fitting differently but I had no idea. I have never lost 8lbs in one week before. Really proud of myself and making it through the struggles of the last week. Even more than the weight loss the fact that I am learning how to deal with my emotions without food is the much better prize!!

So now on to week 2........

Week 1

I am in week 1 on Medifast and wow it has been tough. The tough part is not the food or how it tastes or that I am hungry. The tough part is that emotionally I am a wreck because I no longer have the food to turn too. I truly had no idea how much of a dependence I had put on food when I was stressed, worried, anxious, or any emotion for that matter. The last week I have lost my Tia who was very dear to me. She is actually my husbands aunt but she is the only person is his family that in 8 years has ever made me feel welcome and a part of the family. With her loss comes a loss of a sense of belonging to this family. Not an easy thing to process or no what to do with it. I am in a job that I really dread going to and am hoping that I will be blessed with something that I will feel joy in going to each day. Jason had an interview on Friday morning and wrecked the car on his way back trying to get back in time for Tia's funeral. I also found out that my grandmother who I am also very close to has approx 2 weeks to live. Yes this has all come down in the last week and the same week that I chose to start Medifast. Wow if I had known I think I would've waited another week!!
On the other hand I feel as though God is teaching me so much in the last week. Sometimes I really hate the process of teaching that God sends me through! Its never fun until you are on the other side. I am now with everything going on having to depend on God and not on food. This is the area of my life that without realizing that I have truly not given over to him. So that is what I have been struggling with in the last week. I am making lil steps of progress but wow this is a big battle that I am fighting. I will weigh in officially on Wednesday morning. I will be posting on that day to let everyone know weight wise how things turned out for the first week.