Not what I was expecting

For the last 2 days I have been doing the Insanity workout. It is just as bad as the name says!! It is much harder than P90X and I've been loving the intensity of it. I had thought that this shock from nothing to 90 would have gotten that last .8lbs off. Not the case :-( I actually gained 2.2. There are several factors that I think are leading to this.
- I'm building muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat
- I'm not eating my big meal of the day until 10pm the last 2 days because of our schedule and the class starting at 8pm
-That time of the month is coming any day. There is always gain at this point
With all those variables in place I am still not feeling very good about the scale today. I can feel a difference in my body though and the way that my clothes are fitting. Next week I am hoping that the change in exercise will make a difference. No way that it can't!!
With Thanksgiving right around the corner I am going to enjoy the food in moderation and I am actually going to have a piece of pie! That's my sweet treat after not having any in a really long time :-) Until next week where I am hoping to be able to blogging with a nice loss.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Struggling

Today has been one of the hardest days that I have had in months. Financial stress has hit hard today and I am fighting to not just eat and eat. I went to Bill Miller's this morning to meet a Scentsy customer. I thought as I was going out the door that I am right at the time that I need to eat so I'll just grab a taco. First this is not the best choice when I have much better things to be eating at home. I had plenty that I could've grabbed and eaten on the way. So I get to Bill Millers and I order not 1 but 2 potato egg and cheese tacos. At this point the internal battle is on full force. "Don't eat both." "Oh its not a big deal its just one meal eat them both." I ate the first one and then texted Jason who reminded me that I needed to pray. I asked God for peace with the financial issues and to help me fight threw. It for sure helped but that doesn't mean that the struggle went away. It has been a rough day and I am ready for a new one. I will get through it though as I always do. The goal is to have there be as little damage as possible when its all said and done. I am reminded that this journey never ends and some days are just going to be harder than others.

Holding Steady

This week I maintained and stayed exactly the same as last week! That pesky .8lbs will come off eventually. I was very happy with maintaining this week. We went to a wedding over the weekend and I enjoyed some pasta and then last night I had some brisket and thanksgiving meal goodies. Don't think that I indulged by any means. At the wedding I did have larger than normal portions but last night I took very small portions and enjoyed every bite. I am truly feeling the increased temptation to eat all the yummy holiday foods. In moderation is how I am going to get through this time of year. I am also getting together a schedule for workouts. The plan so far is to cram 4 classes into 3 days. I am going to optomize the time that I do have and get as much in as possible. Getting a run in once or twice on the days that I am working will also be something that I am hoping to obtain. Adding in all the workouts will nto only tone my body but is also going to get the weight loss moving again.

We went back to College Station this past weekend and I saw everyone that I hadn't seen since starting on Take Shape For life. Many of them didn't even recognize me!! I have lost 40 lbs since they saw me last. I know thats a lot in my mind but its so hard to just wrap my brain around how much that really is. It really is a lot of weight. If I had gained 40 I would for sure be able to wrap my brain around that! I am still contemplating doing the 1/2 marathon in Dallas in March. I am about 85% sure that I am going too. The wife of my chiropractor is getting a team together for Beach to Bay and she asked me to join. I felt so honored that she would even consider me. Being overwieght I never got asked to do much on the fitness spectrum of events. I may just become a runner yet :-) I am working on loading my ipod with music today so I am on my way.

A little bit at a time

This week marked another loss of .6lbs. I was hoping to have lost the remaining needed to get to my original weight loss goal. Now I am looking for next week to have lost the remaining .8lbs! I have decided that I am going for another 20lbs. That will then be the final number for me to maintain at. I am still not getting in the exercise that I really need to be doing. At this point I have such limited time which I know is a stupid excuse. I am still losing without the exercise right now but once I hit the final goal I have to put in the exercise to be able to maintain. I simply feel no direction in the way of exercise. I was running but that gets very boring if not mixed in with something else. It is still exercise though and I have to get over that exercise has to be this intense brutal thing and that I can do small things that can make a huge difference too. Doing some squats and lunges and jumping jacks each morning would be a great place for me to start! So that's what I am going to do. Decided right here and right now :-)

CAAAARRRAAAZZYY!!!

Stepped on the scale this morning and my mind was blown! I lost another 2.8 pds!! I am now 1.4 pds away from my original goal. Its crazy! I had felt last week that I was going to have a big loss and it was .6 and then this week I felt like I hadn't lost anything and whamoo I lost 2.8. I am still in shock that over the last 4 years I have lost 110 pounds. That is almost another person and that is just so almost impossible to wrap my mind around. At this point in my journey I am back to eating all the food groups. I have a few of my prepared medifast meals left and have been eating them here and there when I am not feeling like thinking through my choices! I continue to realize that I have to prepare ahead and really think through my day to prepare for my meals. In the last week I am trying to think more out of the box and look for some other 100 calorie meals. Getting in the habit of eating the same things over and over is ok for me but at some point I have to add some new things. The other struggle I had this week was for sweets and breads. I had a 1/4 of a pop tart that was left on the counter. I truly have no idea why I ate it there was no reason to and it was complete impulse. I did fess up to Jason that I did it and that helped keep me accountable. All of Gabe's candy in the house is a huge temptation. Its just such a small piece of candy what harm can that do. A LOT OF HARM!! I took a bucket of it to work yesterday for others to eat. Gabe doesn't eat it either but I don't want to waste it and throw it away. I'll continue to share the sweets with others :-) As you can see my struggles and temptations don't ever stop it's how I work my way through each of them that is the most important.
I had an amazing conversation this past week with a friend of mine. She shared with me her struggle with anorexia for many years when she was younger. She made an awesome comment that her and I struggle with the same issues with food its just on 2 different ends. She has to make sure that she does eat and I have to make sure I don't eat to much. It is the same conscious and difficult daily struggle each day for both of us. It all revolves around emotions and we have both had to take out the connection of eating and emotions. I had never thought of it that way but she is so right. She is the first person that I feel really truly understands the struggle that I experience daily or even hourly or by the minute on some days. I now know that she will be keeping me accountable and me her.