Tough Day

It has been the worst day yet emotionally for me since starting Medifast. In a previous post I mentioned a door that was opening for me. Today that door was shut. I've been looking for a teaching positoin for a year and a half and I finally got an interview. It wasn't just any interview. It was at a school that I have subbed at for 11 weeks straight and the principal has told me many times how impressed he was with me in the classroom. I knew that this interview could be it considering the past history. In teaching it is all who you know and I finally had that on my side! I interviewed last Thursday and couldn't have felt any better about the interview. I found out today that I did not get the position. This set in motion a ton of different emotions. Frustration, disappointment, hurt, etc etc I have known since getting my teaching certificate that it is exactly what God wanted for me. There were way too many factors in place for it to be anything else. My heart knows that God truly does have a plan and that this position was not part of it. My head is having a bit of a harder time and is needing constant reminders. I left work today and sobbed out of pure frustration. I am suppossed to be in the classroom but it's just not happening. My current job is just that a job not something that I am passionate about. If I am not teaching I have no idea what it is that I am suppossed to be doing. I know that everything is going to turn out much better than I could ever even imagine. I truly do know that. Today is rough after feeling so excited at the possible opportunity that is no longer.
All these emotions have of course made me want some pizza, whataburger, just to feel better. This whole not relying on food thing sucks and makes things really hard. Today was the first time that I really thought that I maybe could go off plan but I know that I couldn't. That is just not who I am but my thought process of going off plan went much further than I am comfortable with. Its another day of working towards this new life and dealing with my emotions and not bypassing them with food.